Cultivating Gratitude in Our Kids & in Ourselves
November, the month of Thanksgiving, gives us new opportunities to reflect on what we are thankful for. Today, I’m focusing on why we should cultivate thankfulness in ourselves and in our kids, and sharing three simple ways to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude is a repeated theme throughout the Bible. Over and over again, the Lord commands us to give thanks - for Who He is and for what He has done. I believe this is not only because He is all-deserving of our praise and thanksgiving… but also because we need to do it for our own benefit. From my study of scripture, I believe gratitude is inextricably linked to the depth we experience the fruit of the Spirit in our lives - specifically, joy and peace.
These are a few (of hundreds) of verses that command us to give thanks:
Psalm 136:1
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.”
Psalm 100:4:
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!"
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Philippians 4:6-7:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Colossians 3:15-17:
"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
While gratefulness may be the goal, is certainly doesn’t always come natural to us - or our kids - because in our sinful flesh, we are selfish and prideful. Too often, we are me-centered and focused on what we don’t have, failing to see all that we do. The act of giving thanks requires us to turn outside ourselves - to realize that we truly have nothing of our own credit but that “every good and perfect gift comes from above” (James 1:17) from God our good, good Father “who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all” and will in turn “graciously give us all things” (Romans 8:32). The Lord commands us not to give thanks when our circumstances are going well, but in spite of them. Like the example of Paul and so many more Bible characters, our gratitude is especially important in even the toughest of circumstances, as it helps us to redirect our hearts and minds away from our lack and need and back to the Lord’s never ending love and faithfulness.
I have to choose daily to cultivate gratitude in my own heart (some days I do better than others), and I want to be intentional about growing thankfulness in my kids’ hearts. Here are three simple ways I plan to cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our family this month:
See it - A grateful heart starts with being intentional to notice who God is and the many blessings He gives us each day. A few years ago, I read Ann Voskamp’s book 1,000 Gifts, and it changed how I looked for God’s fingerprints in the ordinary everyday. In past years at Vacation Bible School, the kids have been challenged to look for and share “God sightings” each day. Each night at dinner or in the car driving between activities, ask your family to share aloud three things they’re grateful for each day, or start a gratitude journal. A tangible, fun visual reminder would be to make a thankful tree with a tree limb from your yard or the park and some cardstock leaves that you tape or clothespin on. Or, even easier, create a thankful jar using a recycled jar to hold strips of paper that each family member writes a blessing on each night. At the end of each week, take turns drawing papers out of the jar and reading them aloud.
Say it - Our words are so powerful! The Bible says they hold the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). Choose a Bible memory verse (or verses) related to being thankful, and practice it each day. You could pick from the list above, or one of the many, many other ones in the Bible. Growing up, my grandmother constantly shared the first part of Psalm 118:24 with us “This is the day the Lord has made…” and had us repeat back the second part, “We will rejoice and be glad in it.” I like to do this with my own girls some days (it’s especially effective on those mornings we/I need a little extra help having a good attitude).
Do it - Think of how you can show gratitude to others in your life. Involve your kids in brainstorming ideas. Get a book of stamps and buy or make some cards that tell someone how thankful you are for them and why… leave a little “happy” on someone’s doorstep or in their mailbox… send your child’s teacher their favorite drink or snack. A little appreciation truly goes a long way, and in our busy world, it requires some extra intention.
What are some of your favorite ways to cultivate gratitude in yourself and your kids? Did you get any new ideas that you plan to try this year?